为您找到与外国人笑话大全 爆笑相关的共200个结果:
一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信,“我非常希望带着我的狗,它很干净很有教养,你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”
旅馆主人立即回了封信,“我经营旅馆很多年了,狗从没偷过毛巾,床单, 餐具,或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它,狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆,如果它为您担保,也欢迎您来。
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too.
浏览量:1
下载量:0
时间:
Billy hare is hungry and finds a radish. When he picks it up, Mr. Fox is behind him and wants to eat him. “I’m hungry, too. You’ve my dinner. I’m going to eat you.” he says.
野兔比利很饿,他找到了一只萝卜。当他捡起萝卜的时候,狐狸先生正在他的身后,想吃了他。 “我也饿了。你是我的晚餐,我要吃了你。”狐狸说。
Billy Hare is shocked, but he isn’t scared. He says, “Follow me. I have better food for you.”
They go to a well.
比利很吃惊,但是他并不害怕。他说:“跟我来,我有更好的食物给你。”
他们来来一口井边。
英语笑话大全之爆笑笑话——聪明的野兔
“Look down here,” Billy Hare says “There is something in the water. “What’s that?” Mr. Fox asks surprisingly. “It’s a big and fat hen. Let’s get down and fetch it.” Billy Hare says and gets down with a pail.
“Can you put the hen into the pail?” Mr. Fox shouts. “No. She’s too big,” Billy Hare says, “Come down, please. We can take her up together. Jump into the other pail.”
“朝这下面看,”比利说, “水里有东西。”“是什么呀?”狐狸先生好奇地问:“那是一只有大又费肥的母亲。我们下去把她捉上来。”比利说着,乘一只水桶下去了。
“你能把鸡放进桶里吗?”狐狸问他:“不行,这只鸡太大了,”比利说,“下来吧。我们可以一起把它捉上去。快跳到另一只水桶里吧。”
Mr.Fox does so. When he gets down, Billy Hare gets up. “Good-bye!” Billy Hare gets out of the well and says. Mr. Fox can’t get out.
狐狸照做了。当他下去的时候,比利就上来了。“再见。”比利从井里出来时说。而狐狸却出不来了。
浏览量:3
下载量:0
时间:
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.
一天,父亲与小儿子一块儿回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。
Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?"
他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?”
"Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
“唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。”
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
“可是,爸爸,”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
浏览量:3
下载量:0
时间:
Tony and his father are eating dinner .
托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。
Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy ?”
突然,托尼问他的爸爸:“爸爸,苍蝇好吃吗?”
Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it’s yucky . Why do you ask me this question ? It’s a silly question.”
爸爸皱眉说:“我想不好吃。你怎么会问这个问题?这可是一个愚蠢的问题。”
But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate .”
可是托尼说:“刚才你盘子里有一只苍蝇。”
浏览量:1
下载量:0
时间:
英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言。下面是读文网小编整理的英语笑话大全,欢迎大家阅读!
George comes from school on the first of September.
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.
I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....
新老师
9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。
乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。
妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言。下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑笑话大全,欢迎大家阅读!
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
中文:
父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒?
汤姆:我不知道,爸爸。
父亲:啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课?
汤姆:我们老师,爸爸。
4、Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
Johnson: "But I want you to."
Wife: "But why?"
Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
译文:
老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说:“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”
妻子说:“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人。”
约翰逊:“但我希望你这么做。”
妻子:“为什么?”
约翰逊:“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
5、A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言。下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
1、The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答。
英语笑话六:
2、I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师:你哪里不舒服?
病人:我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师:这种情况从什么时候开始的?
病人:从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
下面是读文网小编整理的英文爆笑笑话, 希望对大家有帮助。
The Indian Who Could Foretell the Weather Two men were travelling in a very wild and lonely part of America. For days they had not even seen a house, only a few huts made of wood, or tents made of skins. Then one day they met an old Indian who earned his living by trapping animals for heir fur. They found that he knew their language and they had a little conversation with him. One of them asked him if he could tell them what the weather would be like within the next few days. “Oh yes,”he said.“Rain is coming, and wind.Then there will be snow for two days, but after that there will be bright sunshine.” “Is n't that wonderful?” said one man to his friend.“These old Indians know more of the secrets of Nature than we do with all our science. They have not been spoiled by civilization.” Then he turned to the old Indian. “Tell me,”he said,“how you knew all that.” The Indian replied,“I heard it on the radio.”
有两个人在美洲一个非常荒凉偏僻的地区旅行。好多天来,他们连所房子也没看到,只看见几个木棚子和皮帐篷。一天,他们遇到一个靠猎取兽皮谋生的印第安老人。他们发现他懂得他们的语言,就和他聊了一会儿。其中一个人问他,能否告知近几天的天气如何。 “哦,行啊”,他说。“就要下雨了,还要刮风。接着还得下两天雪。这以后,就是大晴天了。” “这不是太神奇了吗?”一个旅行者对他的朋友说。“这些印第安老人深知大自然的秘密,比我们有科学知识的人知道的还多。他们并没有被现代文明所迷惑。”接着他转向印第安老人: “请问,”他说,“你是怎么知道这一切的呢?” 印第安老人答道:“我是从无线电里听来的。”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑笑话,以供大家阅读。
Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."
不速之客就在路上,我妈妈,一个完美的家庭主妇,正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后,当她去检查的时候,她吃惊了,曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条,纸条上写着:“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
读文网网英语栏目为您精选语言地道的英语爆笑笑话,让你开心学英语。
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋糕
汤姆:妈妈,我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈:当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
下面是读文网小编整理的简单英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second."
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑小笑话,希望大家会喜欢!
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.
律师的狗,没有拴而到处闲逛,它来到一家肉店,偷走了一块 烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室,问道“如果一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉,我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗?律师答道:“完全可以”,“那你欠我 8.50美元,你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”,律师什么都没说,马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后,店主打开邮箱,发现一封来自律师的信,信上写 道:咨询费250美元。
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
下面是读文网小编整理的经典英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A mother is admonishing her son.
Now, John, don't be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you.
But Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill, and he rides it up the hill.
别太自私
一位母亲在劝告她的儿子。
"听着,约翰,别太自私,让你的弟弟和你共用一辆自行车。" "妈妈,我是让他。我先骑下坡,他再骑上坡。"
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
下面是读文网小编整理的经典爆笑英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic lady to a group of little East-Siders.
The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet lawn under a white-blooming cherry tree, said to her hostess:
Does your husband drink?
Why-er-no, not to excess, was the astonished reply.
How much does he make?
He doesn't work, said the lady. He is a capitalist.
You keep out of debt, I hope?
Of course, child. What on earth do you mean by all these impudent questions?
Impudent? said the little girl. Why, Ma'am, Mother told me to be sure and behave like a lady, and when ladies call at our rooms they always question Mother like that.
无礼的问题
一个住在城东贫民区的小女孩获得邀请,参加一位贵妇人为城东贫民区的孩子们举行的花园晚会。
在一棵开满了白色小花儿的樱桃树下,小女孩坐在柔软的草地上,一边品尝着她的茶和梅子蛋糕,一边对贵妇人说:你的丈夫酗酒吗? 呃,呃,不,他喝得不多。夫人一脸惊诧。
他挣多少钱?
他不工作,夫人回答说,他是个资本家。
我希望你们没有负债吧?
当然没有,孩子。你问这么些无礼的问题到底是想说什么呢?
无礼?小女孩说,怎么会呢,夫人?妈妈要我的举止一定要象夫人们一样,当她们到我们家做客的时候,她们总是那样问我妈妈的。
浏览量:3
下载量:0
时间:
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默爆笑英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A much worried patient walked into doctor's office asking for help:
候诊室里坐着一位忧心忡忡的病人,当医生传唤他时,
"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday!"
他满面愁容的说:“医生,怎么办?我昨天误喝下一瓶汽油!”
"Oh, Don't worry! All you have to remember is not to smoke in the next few days!"
医生回答他說:“喔..没关系啦!记得这几天不要抽烟!”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来爆笑英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
5-year-old daughter, wanting her father to help her do something.
Father: "I’m so tired, if you praise me twice, I’ll Be fresh."
Daughter: "Lao Zheng!"
Dad: "hey!"
Daughter: "your chick looks really nice ah ......"
5岁的女儿让老爸帮她做某事。
老爸:“爸爸很累啦,你夸我两句吧,你夸我两句我就又有劲了。”
女儿:“老郑!”
老爸:“哎!”
女儿:“你家妞妞长得可真漂亮啊……”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的爆笑英语笑话精选,希望大家喜欢!
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来爆笑英语笑话集锦,欢迎大家阅读!
A visitor to the zoo noticed one of the keepers sobbing quietly in a corner and on inquiry was told that the elephant had died.
一名参观动物园的游客注意到一名饲养员正躲在角落里默默地哭泣。他问是怎么回事,别人告诉他大象死了。
"Fond of him,was he?"the visitor asked.
“他很喜欢那头大象,是吧?”游客问道。
"It's not that,"came the reply. "He's the chap who has to dig the grave."
“并非如此,”那人回答说,“他负责给大象挖墓穴。”
浏览量:3
下载量:0
时间: